During the summer I read up on doing a meditation retreat. I some times meditate at home, its good for relieving stress. The western world is quite hard. Everyone is always busy working, working hard. I remember sometimes coming home and that I was like: "wow what did I actually do today?" I was just running on the automatic pilot during the day and was not mindfull at all. So when I do meditation I become more aware of my body and feelings. But it's hard to do it everyday, it has something to do with discipline 👀 So I decided to do a 4 days silence retreat, with no food after 11.00. It was not allowed to do any physical activity, reading or to use electronic devices. I decided that I did want to do some yoga and stretching, because I could combine it with meditation to connect better with my body. I also wrote down a few things so I could write a blog after.

Day 1: Monday 31 October
Today it was time to head off to the famous Wat Prathat Doi Suthep Temple. After arriving at the bottom of the temple just on time , I ate some last Pad Thai. It was 13.30 and it was going to be my last meal for the day. After that I walked up the looooong stairs with my backpacks. I found my way to the meditation center and found the monk who introduced me. He was not very friendly. When I walked in he said irritated: "No shoes!". Oops, nice entrance Frank 😫 At 14.25 the introduction started. We were tought how to do sitting and walking meditation After receiving my key I went to my room. When I opened the door I was slightly shocked. I saw a bed and ... oh huh that's the only thing there was in my room. Okay.. Well atleast I wasn't sleeping on the floor. The bed was rock hard though😅 I had alot of pets in my room. I think around 1000 ants.

At 16.00 the welcome ceremony started. I couldn't find where it was and was 5 minutes late.. There were 2 other participants as well. We did some praying and gave flowers to our teacher. He is a monk for over 15 years already. We had to sit like during meditation. This was okay for 10 minutes, but then I wanted to change position. So I got into a comfortable position. Then the teacher said please sit different! I was pointing my feet towards him and didn't know it was not allowed.. Frank... Gladfully monks never get angry☺ After the ceremony I went back to my room and slept a bit, I was so tired! After tha I did meditation. When i looked at the daily schedule, I saw that at 18.00 there was "chanting" planned for everyone. We wrre praying and singing together with the monk. I think we were a group of 15 people. In the beginning it was akwkard to sing, but then I got comfortable. It was nice to hear everyones voices, it's the only time in the day that you here other people's voices. I went to bed early, I don't know why but I was so tired.

Day 2
Today I had to wake up at 5.00 because at 5.30 Dharma Talk started. I woke up, but fell back asleep again. Thank god at 5.25 I woke up again and ran to the place where I had to be.. Frank....😀 I arrived just in time for the Dharma talk. The monk spoke for 1.5 hours to us. We had rice soup for breakfast at 07.00, bit surprisingly I was not really hungry. After that it was time for meditation. It sounds stupid, but I already felt a bit better connected to my body during the walking meditation. You just walk very slow and concentrate on every movement you make and how your feet touch the ground. At 11.00 it was lunch time which concisted out of a rice and veggies buffet.
After that I found out that there was also a shop who sold toilet paper and some food.
When I headed back to my room I saw 2 people talking outside. I didnt join in, wanted to give the silence a real try. Back in my room I did some stretching and slept again. At 13.00 it was time to talk to the teacher. He said first day not easy. That's true, a lot of thoughts came by. Sometimes it's hard to stay in the present and you think alot about things in the past or future. This brings you nothing and costs energy! I asked for another meditation position, because my right knee hurted. Felt like my meniscus... The teacher told me about the Japanese position where you sit on your knees supported by pillows. This was way better for me! After that I did 15 min walking and 15 min sitting meditation. The meditation was going better. After that I slept and did some intensive stretching. I could feel the quick result on my hamstrings, I wish it stayed. At 18 Dharmatalk again. The teacher told us about continuing happiness in the normal life. Be mindfull, and breathe. In the evening we were Chanting. It felt way more comfortable now, the singing was nice. It was in Thai, but we read it in English. Some words were really funny. There was one word so long that I couldn't even say it in 1 breathe. I had a little laugh with my neighbour. After that I did 15 min walking and 20 min sitting meditation. I feel more clear, but still have some negative thoughts sometimes like : I haven't talked to him or her for so long, I feel guilty. Sometimes the most random things come in your mind 😂

Day 3
I woke up 2 times. My body feels restored. The dhamma talk at 6.00 was about comparison with other people. Don't do that, maybe it is just 1 little scene out of somebody's life and the other time that person is not like that at all. Or maybe he worked very hard in the past to get were he is now, that's why he is in that certain position. All relegions say 2 important things: do good, not bad. Buddhism adds a 3th: learn from your mistakes, purify your mind and find balance. Breakfast was rice soup which I ate very slow and mindfull. The meditations were really improving. Less negative thoughts and a clear mind. After I slept again for 1 hour which felt like 5. I did my stretching programm and had a nice lunch and did meditation in the afternoon. The meditation was good. I was the only one in the room and when I opened my eyes there were 3 tourists in the room. One asked me something and I only shaked "no".

In the afternoon I walked up to the temple with the 2 guys (German and Australian) who were talking yesterday. I wanted to see the temple so I joined them and only chatted little. One was doing 4 days like me and the other 14 days! We visited the temple among the tourists. Tomorrow I want to watch sunrise here with Augustine (Australian). Our teacher said we didn't have to go to the dhamma talk if we don't want to. After visiting the temple I tool a shower and shaved, I felt kind of "new" in some way. I did meditation in another building this time. I was imagining that I was sitting in a flowergarden, there were only positive thoughts. The chanting in the evening was great with the others. Only my right knee was hurting again. After the chanting I did walking meditation outside, with a beautiful view over Chiang Mai. I did the sitting meditation inside. I put the timer on 22 min. After meditating for a while, I wanted to check my timer. Exactly that moment the timer ran off.. coincidence??? It was a great meditation again. I felt clear and happy. I went to my room and ended the day with lieing meditation by doing a bodyscan.

Day 4
I went up to the temple at 5.00 with Augustine to watch sunrise. It rained for almost the whole night and it was still really cloudy. We took some kissens to meditate on and we went up. Once arrived we made some pictures. Surprisingly also Chinese tourists were already there. We did our meditation anyway and although the sunrise was nothing special, it was really nice up there.
After that we had our last breakfast and the closing ceremony. I donated something to the center and left together with Augustine and Dieke (Dutch girl). We went to a nice vegan restaurant (Food4Thought). We had some really good food and chatted for awhile. I noticed that I was so calm and didn't necessarily had to speak.
What I learned is that I think to much in the past or future and that I should be living more in the present. Also I can think positively more easy now. The last thing is that it's sometimes better to say nothing. I noticed that in the past I sometimes was saying things that don't add anything to a conversation.

I really enjoyed my short stay at the temple. Maybe I will do it again, somewhere in my life... for now I just want to stay mindfull and positive as long as possible, just smiiiiileeee😄

Geschreven door FrankArends